Tonight was another slightly painful parents evening full of frowns coming from Papa as every lecturer tells him that I work well but I’m too chatty. I’m sure he already knows this but time and time again they feel the need to tell him. Surely it would be easier if they just told me to shut up? They never do. He’s pretty pleased with my grades at least (though not so much with that one U, one time, in an irrelevant psychology test that will never matter ever again) so I shouldn’t have to worry about nagging. Though he will be watching me like a hawk now making sure I revise. Bless him, I know he only does it because he wants the best for me; it is nice to know that it all matters to him. Maybe I’ll get him to test me on Kantian Deontology, or the pros and cons of the Ontological Argument, really confuse him! Once all these exams are out the way I’ll be much much happier.
The other thing really bothering be in the world at the moment is other drivers. Now I am quite obviously a woman on a motorcycle, with learner plates. I know that this makes me a huge target. I still don’t see the need for all other drivers to act like total dicks every time they get anywhere near me. Are they so impatient that they don’t want to stay at 40mph down the road? Because last time I checked that actually was the speed limit. Similarly, why would you want to undertake me only to slam your breaks on so that I have to do the same and end up in a nice sideways skid? For starters that seems a little bit rude and while I will happily hold the horn on for a very long time and shake my fist at you it’s not the way I would choose to ride home. Car drivers need to learn bike awareness on their tests and have it re-enforced every 10 years or so just to make sure they remember to stop trying to run us all off the road.
Even worse than the car drivers are the cocky little ped boys that think they’re so amazing trying so hard to stick to my arse. They ride these little things that have about the same power output as a ride on lawnmower, and then they don’t even wear gloves! If you’re going to ride like a dick at least wear something to protect yourselves from your own stupidity. They weave about the road, with their feet on the pillion pegs, trying to impress their friends I suppose. Good way to get yourselves killed there lads. I equally hate the way they all rev their little engines while sitting at lights or under a bridge. That just makes you look like a twat, so stop doing it ok? Eugh, mopeds, I really don’t think they should be legal at all, they’re just not safe or sensible.
To end on a high note. A few weeks ago I was pulled over by a police man and breath tested. Ok, so it was like last month, but it still makes me giggle. I had had...a few coffees (ok like four in a row) and was a little hyped up for the ride home. I ended up sat at a set of traffic lights that I know take FOREVER to change so I thought I would make the wait slightly more interesting. I put my bike into neutral, took my hands off the bars, and started dancing. No I was not listening to music. Whilst I was dancing I failed to see the police man pull up behind me in his big white and yellow police car. Once we started moving I did see the blue lights telling me to pull over. Balls. He was really very surprised to find that I was not in fact drunk and he sent me on my way with a warning. The joys of being an eccentric loon, I guess it keeps life interesting.
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